Name: Vulnerability: My Superpower
Price: 12 USD

Tim Ross’ superpower is vulnerability. 

This course recognizes that vulnerability is a complex and multifaceted concept, and its effects can vary depending on individual experiences and circumstances. 

Personal vulnerability can have both positive and negative aspects, impacting individuals in various ways. 

Vulnerability brings positive outcomes such as connection and growth, and it is essential to approach vulnerability with care and discernment.

In this course on vulnerability, Tim also instructs on the potential risks in each situation. 

Additionally, Tim will explain the impact of vulnerability that can be influenced by factors such as support systems, personal boundaries, and the individuals' receptiveness.

People have asked Tim how he first realized vulnerability was his superpower.
Tim was sexually abused when he was eight years old and got into pornography when he was 12. This was the way Tim coped with the trauma. It was a secret that ate at Tim from the inside out. At the age of 19, his mom actually caught Tim watching porn at two o'clock in the morning. 

Tim now can see how this was the grace of God for his life. He wasn't a believer in Jesus at that moment, but Tim remembers how he needed to get caught because he didn't know how to get out of an addiction to porn. That night when Tim got caught was also the night that he told his mom that he was abused by a neighbor that lived across the street from him.

That night, Tim’s younger brother also shared that he was also abused by the same person. Then Tim’s mom shared that she was sexually abused. Then, his dad shared that he had been abused as well. So, a night, that should have been embarrassing and shameful turned into this moment where light flooded their souls. They were all able, through vulnerability, to see freedom from their dark secrets. Tim made up his mind that night that he was never going to hold a secret again. And from that day to this one, Tim has been honing this message and this discipline of vulnerability. This has benefited Tim greatly. And he believes it will do the same for you.

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The Outcomes you will receive in this course highlight both the positive and negative aspects of personal vulnerability.

- How authenticity fosters self-awareness and creates self-care.

- How emotional connection creates emotionally healthy people and relationships. 

- How vulnerability will help your personal growth and learning by developing resilience and adaptability in your life. 

- You will also learn about the emotional risk of vulnerability. Specifically, the pain of personal rejection, criticism, and betrayal. Possible exploitation happens in vulnerability and what to do when you are taken advantage of and or exploited.

- How emotional exhaustion is a risk of vulnerability, and what happens when you feel overwhelmed, physically fatigued, and emotionally burned out. 

- Finally, we will explore how vulnerability can become your superpower when practicing community through developing support systems, participating in therapy, and practicing healthy boundaries. So, buckle up, buttercups. We are about to take a ride and become vulnerable together. 

Introduction - Vulnerability: My Superpower 

Tim Ross tells the origin story of his superpower. It is shocking to learn that it all began as a result of Tim’s most shameful experiences. It was in this dark moment that Tim made a life-altering decision to turn the light on and expose his childhood sexual abuse and how it led to him becoming addicted to pornography.

In this course introduction, Tim outlines the positive and negative aspects of personal vulnerability. And how vulnerability can be anyone’s superpower when it is practiced in a safe community. 

The first positive result is authenticity: Embracing vulnerability enables individuals to be more authentic and genuine. 

Embracing vulnerability promotes authenticity, self-acceptance, and deeper connection with others.

It encourages them to express their true selves without fear of judgment or rejection, fostering self-acceptance and allowing others to connect with them more profoundly. 

Authenticity fosters both self-awareness and creates self-care. Authenticity is about being the same person everywhere you go. Tim calls it integration, which is the act of combining or adding parts to make a unified whole.

Tim encourages people to be their authentic selves and to show up everywhere as themselves. This is how you stay an integrated person and not wind up a disintegrated or disintegrating person where you feel you can only show up in person, but show up in a completely different way in another place.

Be brave: Authenticity is about the integration of a person and their ability to be brave enough to be themselves everywhere. 

You want to be accepted for who you truly are. We live in a society that pushes back on that. In professional environments or out in certain public squares, you have to get along with all of society, but you would rather be accepted for who you are.

Integration requires you to be more than a mere carbon copy of who you are or just a piece of who you are. Tim remembers what it was like to be in his early twenties when he was trying to figure out who he was amongst the people that he was around compared to the people that he was around and going through that process. What Tim realized is that he couldn’t be them and they couldn’t be him. This is where the breakthrough happened for him. 

Embracing Authenticity:
- Comparing oneself to others hinders the discovery of one’s authentic self.
- Embracing the uniqueness of being oneself brings liberation.
- Self-questioning and self-reflection 

If you spend your life comparing yourself to others, you will never find your authentic self, but when you rest in the fact that you can only be you and no one else can be you, it is liberating when you rest in that.

Once Tim dialed into that, life got easy for him, and it got easy for the people around him because they could accept Tim or reject him based on who he actually was and not someone he was trying to be. Tim encourages you, allow your authenticity to shine. Be you!

Authenticity 

A Lifestyle 

Tim teaches that a key to his superpower is found in personal integration. This allows him to become brave enough to live an authentic life with everyone, everywhere!

Tim’s Bible is his cheat code for life. Matthew 5:37 is such a simple verse. “Jesus says, just say a simple, yes, I will, or no, I won't.”  If Matthew had just stopped there, that would have been enough, but he says afterward. “Anything beyond this is from the evil one.”

What Tim loves about this verse is that Jesus is giving us the literal  cheat code of what it's like to start being an authentic person. Keep your word. It's as simple as saying either yes or no. 

I will or I won't. I do, or I don't. Keep it that simple. If someone asks you how your day is going, tell them the truth. It is either going well, or it's not.. You may not want to elaborate with that person. You may not want to tell them all the intricacies of what you're going through, but you can just tell the truth. This is the starter kit, a simple yes or a no, I will or I won't, I do or don't,. Keep it that simple. This is the starter kit. This should be your anchor. This is your first look into learning how to be an authentic person. Be a person of your word. And let it be as simple as your “yes being yes, and your no being no.”

I Got Bible for that! Matthew 5:37

Tim’s first lesson on how to be an authentic person comes from a simple truth found in Matthew 5:37 Jesus said for you to say “yes” when you want to “yes,” and to say “no” when you want to say “no.” Authenticity is measured by how you keep your word.

It's the fact that authenticity fosters self-awareness. Here's the question. “What can a person do to become more self-aware?” 

Self-Questioning for Personal Growth: Engaging in thoughtful self-questioning leads to the development of self-awareness, valuable insights, and personal growth.

People can become self-aware if they do Q&A’s with themselves. Tim wants you to question yourself and... he wants you to answer yourself. This is how you become self-aware.

Tim invites you to ask these questions, “What am I doing right now?” “How do I sound right now?” If you can answer that question, you are aware of yourself. “How do I feel right now?” If you can answer that question, you are aware of yourself. This is what the therapy world calls attunement.

Attunement is a noun which means to bring into harmony. 

Can you be attuned to your own body? Can you be attuned to your own self? Tim calls it an emotional audit. LeBron James has a personal trainer, and they do a physical audit of his body after every game that he plays. No wonder this dude is almost 40 years old and can still play at the elite level he plays at. After every game LeBron James plays, his personal trainer comes in, he sits on a little bench, and they take a physical audit all the way up to the top of his body. And if there's any hint of a tweak or a pain, they write it down and start game planning. How do we get the body to heal itself? We need to do the same thing for our emotions to become self-aware. 

You need to do an emotional audit.

TAKING AUDIT
- Relational: Assessing your relationships
- Spiritual: Evaluating your emotional state in terms of spiritual state
- Physical: Checking in on your physical health
- Financial Well-being: Examining your emotions related to financial matters
- Emotional: Reflecting on your overall emotional state

Take inventory of how you feel relationally, how you feel spiritually, physically, financially, emotionally.  Take an audit of all of these things, and start investigating them. “Why am I feeling this way?” You can become a self-aware person.

Grow- Self-awareness leads to a broader awareness of those around you. 

Self-consciousness keeps you consumed with only you at the expense of those around you. Tim dares you to be self-aware. Authenticity also creates opportunities for self-care. 

Authenticity: Fosters Self Awareness

Tim encourages you to “Dare to be self-aware.” The therapist defines this action as attunement. Tim calls it an emotional audit. Connect how you feel about yourself, relationships, family, career, finances, and other areas in your life.

Authenticity also creates self-care. How do you practice self-care? The way everybody practices self-care is different. Tim gives you a contrast between Juliet and himself.

Whatever that is for you, dial into it. You need time to care for yourself. 

YOU ARE NOT SELFISH
You are not being selfish when you prioritize taking care of yourself and your well-being. It is essential to understanding that self-care is not a selfish act but a necessary practice for maintaining your physical, mental and emotional health.

You are not being selfish when you take care of yourself. You are being very thoughtful. You are being very caring. For yourself as well as others. So do not forsake yourself when it comes to care. You need it!

 Authenticity: Creates Self-Care

One of the benefits of authenticity is that it creates self-care. Tim built a “she-shed” for his wife to use for self-care with hours of woodworking. Tim’s self-care looks different than his wife's.  He likes to escape with his sons playing video games. Everyone’s self-care can be different. It is important that you find your place to recharge and center your thoughts and feelings.

Tim invites you to take inventory of the topics in this section; self-awareness and self-care. They can both be fostered through journaling. Take time to write a list of your interactions and reactions to what you've been feeling. Jot down your emotions, whether you do it with pen to paper or whether you have a tablet or a pencil, you're jotting it down on your phone. Take some notes. Self-care as well. Do the same thing. Journal. Take five minutes to step outside. Enjoy some quiet time, right? Take a walk, right? You need to go outside, breathe in, breathe out. Let the Sun hit you. Get some vitamin D. Take a cold shower instead of a hot one. Whatever you need to do. There are a lot of things that you can do to become aware. Care for yourself. Go jog, go walk around your neighborhood, smell some roses, eat something healthy, and do whatever you need to do.

Superpower Workout 

Self-Awareness can be fostered through journaling:
- Journal a list of some of your interactions
- Journal your reactions to these interactions
- Journal your emotions about these interactions

Self-Care can also be fostered through journaling:
- Take 5 minutes to step outside and enjoy some quiet time
- Schedule some time to take a walk or jog around your neighborhood
- Chose something healthy to eat today


Another positive result is how vulnerability can facilitate deeper emotional connections with others. 

The Power of Vulnerability
Sharing authentic thoughts, emotions, and personal encounters can lead to increased empathy, understanding, and intimacy in relationships.

When vulnerable, individuals open up about their true thoughts, feelings, and experiences, which can foster empathy, understanding, and intimacy in relationships.

The way that Tim connects with people emotionally is a skill that he has honed over the years. Tim is an empath by default, it's the way God wired him. But it is something that you can grow in. You can be a person who grows in empathy, and the only thing you need to do is listen. 

The Power of Listening
By truly listening and becoming curious about others, one can cultivate empathy and strengthen connections.

If you would truly listen, and become curious about the individual you're trying to connect with, you can grow in your empathy. People think that Tim gets paid to talk and actually he doesn't, Tim actually gets paid to listen. When you listen well, you have better answers. When you listen well, you have better responses. If you want to establish an emotional connection with a person, take the time to listen and be curious. 

Be genuinely interested in understanding others. By doing so, you broaden horizons and deepen connections.

Be curious about where that person is from or how they feel. Ask the questions that seem obvious and you will grow in connection with others. People will love you because they genuinely will feel like this person cares about them.

As a podcaster, it's Tim’s secret sauce to great interviews. His ability to attune to them and be curious about where they're from and really want to tie into who they are as people is one of the reasons why Tim feels like they do so well.

If you want to make that emotional connection with others, listen, and be curious.

Secret Sauce

Emotional Connections

One of the best outcomes of being vulnerable is how it creates deeper emotional connections with others on real, authentic, and intimate levels. People connect with others when they feel they are heard. 

Again, Tim has a Bible verse for this as it relates to emotional connection. Proverbs 17:17. It says, A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

Tim loves the first line that a friend loves at all times. He explains further that it says that a friend doesn't have to like you at all times, but they will love you at all times. Love comes from an emotional connection. That emotional connection comes from the ability to listen, be curious, not be judgmental, and accept a person for where they are right now.

Do you want to be a true friend? Love at all times. 
See people truly for who they are and accept them for where they are when you keep an emotional connection.

I Got Bible for that!!! Proverbs 17:17

Tim opens and reads Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” He instructs that emotional connectivity increases through friendships that have experienced both the good and bad days together.

How do you become an emotionally healthy person? You will have to practice some disciplines. 

Discipline
To achieve emotional well-being, it is necessary to cultivate certain practices and disciplines.

In the same way when you exercise every day, you start to see results, not instantaneously, but over time. To develop yourself as an emotionally healthy person starts with learning to be authentic and self-aware. Someone who practices self-care. Putting into practice the habits of being every single day. And when you fail in the same way you would do with a diet or with a workout regimen, you're going to call your own foul. 

Call Foul
Call your own foul when you stumble or fall. Whether they are significant or minor, acknowledge them and use them as opportunities for growth.

When you fall short, assess how you could have been more attuned, more honest with yourself. You're going to practice being honest with yourself, and when you blow it, you're just going to call it on yourself. Call your own foul. As you get more disciplined with these habits every single day, you're going to find a way to allow being emotionally healthy to be the goal of your life.

Emotionally Healthy People

Tim offers a creative solution on  what a person can do to become an Emotionally Healthy person. Like in a basketball game, a player can call their own foul when it is obvious that they caused an infraction by raising their hand to acknowledge it. Emotionally healthy people are self-aware about their mistakes and failures.

Tim pivots slightly to how we allow ourselves to be emotionally healthy and connect that to having emotionally healthy relationships. 

First, not everybody wants to be in an emotionally healthy relationship. 

A Healthy Relationship
Practicing emotionally healthy relationships is more about you than it is about your counterpart.

You want to invite them to be as healthy as you are. But you can't force anybody to be on the same journey with you.

The first step to having emotionally healthy relationships with other people is understanding through your own emotional intelligence and health that they may not be able to meet you exactly where you are. 

Having emotionally healthy relationships with other people is understanding through your own emotional intelligence and health that they may not be able to meet you exactly where you are. You are already winning in having an emotionally healthy relationship with them because you're accepting them where they are. You're accepting their capacity as it is. And you are not forcing them to be somebody they cannot be now. You're embracing them and loving them where they are. 

One of the people that Tim quotes is Dr. Caroline Leaf.

Dr. Caroline Leaf
“Nonetheless, people wind up going to therapy to start addressing their issues. They wind up staying in therapy to help address everybody else's.”

The more awareness you bring to yourself the more awareness you can bring to others. 
Your relationships will be as emotionally healthy as you are. 

As they see your growth, it may inspire them to grow as well.

Emotionally Healthy Relationships

According to Tim, what a person must do to have emotionally healthy relationships starts with accepting others to engage with you at their own emotional capacity.  

Tim’s therapist told him a stat that was so sad that he was depressed for like seven minutes, but she said “only 1 percent of people worldwide focus on self care,” which includes therapy. 1% of the 8 billion people on the earth is 80,000,000. Tim exclaims how this explains the porn industry, drugs use, Netflix binging. Why does everybody want to be distracted? Because they don't want to deal with themselves. 80 million people in the whole world are medicating their pain in some type of way. 

Tim offers additional thought: Around 1% of people worldwide practice self-care. And answers the question of why so many people have chosen to numb their pain and dysfunction rather than to do the hard work that is needed to fix their mess.

Alright, so here's the homework, peeps. Tim invites you to list the attributes of an emotionally healthy person.

Maybe you know a person you admire or look up to and see, and you're like, you know what? This is what you love about them. What attributes of an emotionally healthy person need to work on in your life? 

Now, switch that to emotionally healthy relationships.

Write out a conversation that you need to have with a friend or a colleague. Whether you write out the conversation or role-play the conversation with a counterpart before you actually talk to that loved one, friend, or colleague you need to have a conversation with.

It will do wonders for the conversation that needs to be had. Put yourself in their shoes. That's empathy, and write out how they might feel about what you say. List areas where you need to forgive and let go of past hurts. 

Superpower Workout

Emotional Healthy Person
List the attributes of an Emotionally Healthy Person.
What attributes of an Emotionally Healthy Person do you need to work on in your life?

Emotionally Healthy Relationships
Write out a conversation that you need to have with a friend or colleague.
Put yourself in their shoes and write out how they might feel about what you have to say.
List areas where you need to forgive and let go of past hurts.

The third positive result of being vulnerable often involves taking risks and stepping outside of one's comfort zone by exposing oneself to new experiences. 

Taking Risks
Being vulnerable often involves taking risks and stepping outside of your comfort zone. It means embracing new experiences and exposing yourself to the unknown. 

Individuals can learn and grow, develop resilience, and build adaptability. 
Tim reveals that if you are going to be vulnerable, you are going to get some adverse reactions. Everyone is not prepared for your vulnerability. Everyone is not able to metabolize or digest your vulnerability. 
Your vulnerability will be off-putting to some people. 
Tim’s experience of his vulnerability has often taken people off-guard. So you have to build up on the inside of yourself a certain level of resilience and a certain level of endurance to be able to handle that. The way that Tim explains it is that you have to develop a “Thick skin, and a soft heart.” You don't want this resilience to make you a cynical person believing that everybody is closed off to you. Your vulnerability can be triggering to other people's trauma. It can bring up some things in them that they're not ready to face or deal with. To build resilience you must be adaptable. Know when you're in certain places what you can and cannot say. Sometimes you have to edit yourself. Editing has nothing to do with being authentic. It has everything to do with just knowing how much a person can take. 

Tim likes watching the extended-cut versions of movies, but understands that the director has to be adaptable to edit the movie down to a length that everyone could enjoy. 

Be adaptable. 
Being adaptable is key. Some places allow for more sharing, while others may require restraint.

In certain places, you may be able to share more. In other places, you may be able to share less. When you share, be resilient, be adaptable, and be you.

Thick Skin and Soft Heart

Resilience & Adaptability

Tim shares how his family loves to watch the extended director’s cut versions of movies. Not everyone likes the extra-long versions with the director’s commentary. In this third section, Tim will focus on how personal resilience and adaptability are traits that can be gained in practicing vulnerability and will develop a thick skin and a soft heart.

Tim has just a Bible verse for this section. When we're talking about resiliency and talking about adaptability, Proverbs 9:9 says this: Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more. 
This is how you build this thicker skin. Tim doesn't even want to call it tough. It's just thicker. Things don't get to you as quickly as they get to others because you've built a thicker skin. But at the same time, you've kept a very soft heart.

Resilience
To become a resilient person, remove anything that may frustrate you as much as possible.

Remove as much as you can around you that will frustrate you with being a resilient person. Tim shares some practical ways that he has done this in his own life by limiting his interactions on social media.

Part of having resilience is limiting the voices and or words that can get to him that can build resilience. Let Proverbs 9:9, be an anchor for you to be wise.

I Got Bible for that!!!  Proverbs 9:9 

Tim opens his Bible and reads Proverbs 9:9 NLT 
Instruct the wise,
    and they will be even wiser.
Teach the righteous,
    and they will learn even more.


He teaches this course to help you increase your knowledge on how to practically apply this wisdom on how to become more resilient and adaptable. Since Tim has become a podcast host, he has learned how to limit his engagement with social media which has increased his ability to be more resilient.

What can a person do to become even more resilient? One of the ways is to 

Resilience
Invite criticism from people you love and trust. 

Let them ask questions about what you want to be authentic about or vulnerable about. 

Curate Criticism
- Curate your source of criticism. Accept criticism from trusted individuals. 
- People with your phone number. 
- People who can send you a text message.
- Mentors
- Spouse, children, and best friends.
- People you’re accountable to.

Don't shy from criticism, but curate where it comes from. Tim accepts criticism from people who he knows personally. Tim accepts criticism from people who mentor me. Tim accepts criticism from his wife and children, from his best friend, and from people that he is accountable to. Criticism actually builds resilience. Tim allows people that he loves, knows, and trusts to challenge him on some of the things that he says and or does. This will make you a more resilient person. Don't run from criticism.

 Become Resilient

Tim offers a challenge of what a person can do to become more resilient- invite criticism from people you trust into your life. 

The book of Proverbs in the Bible speaks on how you can become more resilient when you are open to criticism, and become more resilient.

Tim has a Bible verse for the criticism. Proverbs 28:23 says, In the end, people appreciate honest criticism far more than flattery. If everybody in your life does nothing more than encourage you in everything you do, find new people. Tim says if all that you're getting is flattery, it is dangerous because you won't grow if you don't know the things that you need to develop it. Appreciate honest criticism when it comes from a trusted voice. Because it will benefit you way more than flattery will.

How to Adapt

Tim opens up his Bible again to read another proverb to underscore what a person can do to become more adaptable and learn new skills 

Prov. 28:23
In the end, people appreciate honest criticism far more than flattery.

If you want to really distill what we just talked about in this section, you need to develop resilience by engaging in a hobby or activity that will promote relaxation. Reframe a negative situation by writing down a positive outcome. Write a new narrative on it. 

Reframe a negative situation by writing down a positive outcome, and build adaptability and new skills. Try something new that you have never done before. Be flexible by taking a different way home from your office. 

Invite a trusted co-worker to give you some feedback.

Write out a solution-oriented plan that addresses a challenging situation. 

The third positive result of being vulnerable often involves taking risks and stepping outside of one's comfort zone by exposing oneself to new experiences. Individuals can learn and grow, developing resilience and building adaptability.

Developing resilience by engaging in a hobby or activities that promote relaxation.
Reframe a negative situation by writing down a positive outcome.

Build adaptability and new skills.
Try something new that you have never done before.
Be flexible by taking a different way home from your office.
Invite a trusted co-worker to give you some feedback.
Write out a solution-oriented plan that addresses a challenging situation.


Tim explains the risk of practicing a lifestyle of vulnerability. 

Vulnerability can put individuals at risk emotionally and potentially lead to hurt, rejection, criticism, betrayal, and negatively impact their mental well-being and self-esteem.
 
Sharing personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences leaves one open to the pain of personal rejection. Tim preached a sermon in front of about 20,000 people about his porn addiction and sexual abuse and how God had brought him out on the other side. After that sermon was over a dear friend walked up to Tim and said, “I cannot believe you just told this many people about what you had been through. I could have never done that.” For Tim this critique was emotional whiplash. The feedback couldn't have been more ill-timed. Why would they say this within minutes of Tim finishing the most vulnerable message he had ever preached? 

It is risky to be vulnerable and put your emotions out there. Some people are not going to know how to handle it. They won't have any context for it and think you said too much. Family members may feel you're telling family secrets when in reality, you are merely sharing your experience.

Tim wants you to know to prepare yourself because it's going to happen. It's not that it might happen. 

Brace yourself because when you put your emotions out there, they may not always be understood or respected, you’re not alone in this emotional journey. 

Someone's going to step on the line and your emotions. 
But if you're prepared for it, you'll be able to handle it better.

Emotional Risk

Tim looks at the other side of the coin on how practicing vulnerability can expose individuals to emotional risks and potential hurt. One of the most hurtful times Tim’s vulnerability was questioned after he shared his testimony of being abused as a child. Tim warns that when you put your emotions on the line, someone's going to step on them and you need to be ready for when that happens.

Tim has a Bible verse for this one. And this verse has been so liberating for Tim. In Proverbs 29:25, it says, Fearing people is a dangerous trap. But trusting in the Lord means safety. 

Don't fear people. Don't give them that much power or that much credit. 

Words have an effect on you - period! Fearing people the Proverbs says it's a dangerous trap. Your trust is in the Lord, and He gave you this gift of vulnerability that helps people. 

Embrace Vulnerability
Embracing vulnerability requires courage, boldness, and most importantly, granting oneself the freedom to share your own narrative. Don’t fear judgment from others, but rather place your faith in God.

Give yourself permission to tell your story. Fear no man. Trust God.

I Got Bible for that!!!  Proverbs 29:25

Tim opens his Bible back to the book of Proverbs and reads one verse that has anchored his gift of vulnerability.
Proverbs 29:25 NLT
Fearing people is a dangerous trap,
but trusting the Lord means safety.

What can a person do to deal with the emotional risk that comes with sharing your personal thoughts, feelings, and experience? And how do you navigate that personal rejection? 

The first thing you need to do is talk about it. Don't pin it up, don't bottle it, don't keep it to yourself. You need to talk about it. You need to acknowledge the pain. Sometimes it helps to write it out.

Tim has dealt with rejection. It's the nature of being a public figure. But when it gets to Tim, he talks about it and even vents. And then after Tim has let it out, it's gone. It's over. It's done. 

If it's something that you feel is a wound, you may need to see a therapist or at least talk to your close friends about why it's affecting you. It's not so much about what they said, as much as it is you being curious about why you’re feeling what you’re feeling. Tim takes that philosophy from Jesus. Jesus is on the cross, and while being crucified, is praying to God, His Father, on behalf of the people crucifying Him. And what he's saying is, Father forgive them for they know not what they do. 
You can always pray for people when you know the context by which they come from. 

Remember, understanding the context of people’s circumstances empowers you to pray for them more effectively.

In mid-crucifixion, Jesus prays for his enemies because he knows why they're in the condition that they're in. Having perspective and context becomes helpful to dealing with people who reject you. Share those thoughts, talk out loud, process, and recover.

Personal Rejection

Tim gives a list of what to do when you experience personal rejection:
a. Talk about it
b. Acknowledge the pain
c. If it wounded you, see a counselor/therapist
d. Understand the context (Jesus praying to God about others)

Tim knows what it's like to be criticized and what it's like to feel betrayed. He has had both of them hit him. 

The worst thing you could do when criticism really affects you is try to act like it doesn't affect you. You're just lying to yourself. 

A Path to Growth
It’s a common mistake to ignore the impact of criticism, pretending it doesn’t touch us. This, in truth, is self-deception. Acknowledging this impact is key, allowing us to grow and learn from it.

The one of the best ways for you to recover is to actually acknowledge that it hurts.

Imagine a boxer in a ring, getting punched in the chin, his knees giving out, he can't get up until the eight count, so he's still in the fight because he didn't get knocked out. Can you imagine that guy after the fight saying, that punch didn't hurt? Yeah, it did! We saw you hit the deck. Of course it hurt. 

So acknowledge the criticism and the betrayal. It does hurt. The best way to start recovering is by acknowledging it.

Your authenticity and your vulnerability cannot be contingent on other people's acceptance. If you expect other people's acceptance to fuel the reason why you are an authentic and vulnerable person, Tim promises you, you're going to struggle.

You have to be anchored within yourself knowing that this is what you’re supposed to do. This is who you’re supposed to be, and live. It has to be tethered to something greater than you, and it's not in another person, it can only be in God.

Acknowledge your criticism and betrayal. David did, Jesus did, and you should too. It doesn't mean you won't feel that deep impact. Back to the boxing analogy. A guy who can take a good punch on the chin is somebody who didn't used to be able to take a good punch on the chin. You build up an immunity to certain blows because you've been hit there before. Build that thick skin and find the grace within.

Criticism or Betrayal

One of the most painful experiences of vulnerability is when others use it to criticize you or betray your trust. This can negatively damage your self-esteem. Tim coaches you to not deny the pain but instead stand like a boxer and take the punch.

Three things that Tim wants you to do in this section:
- Develop a process to share your personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences. 
- Then he wants you to hit a role play with a close friend. 
- He wants you to make it about something that's emotionally risky.
- Role-play that out and then create a safe space for sharing your personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences. These three things are going to help you, um, Take what Tim has talked about in this section and make it yours. 

(I'm so proud of you.)

Emotional Risk
- Develop a process to share your personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
- Role-play something that is emotionally risky with a close friend.
- Create a safe place for sharing your personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Tim shares a story that is very sensitive and may trigger you. While Tim was a young adult pastor, he recalls a counseling session with a young woman. The first two sessions were pretty light. In their third session, things got real. And what she said to Tim was, you are the first pastor that has not tried to have sex with me. It was heartbreaking. Tim’s response to her was, “I love you, and I do not want to have sex with you.” And she burst into tears and she said, “You’re the first married man that has not tried to have sex with her.” 

Imagine going to a church where you don’t feel safe. Tim wants you to imagine saying something very vulnerable and that person trying to use it to their advantage. Tim wants your vulnerability to become your superpower. 

For every Superman, there is a Lex Luther. For every Batman, there is a Joker. For anything good, there is bad. For Jesus there is Satan. 

However, we need to understand that we live in a broken world with people that are broken. We have to be careful about who we share our vulnerability with. Because not everybody has good intentions.

Hidden Intentions
It’s crucial we choose wisely to whom we expose our vulnerabilities because a harsh reality is - that everyone might not harbor the best intentions.

If that has been your narrative, Tim wants you to know that there is grace for you, restoration for you, and healing for you. If this has not been your narrative, Tim is grateful, but he also wants you to know that there are people out there that will try to exploit our vulnerability. So we have to be great stewards of it.

Exploitation

Practicing Vulnerability 

Tim instructs that a risk of practicing vulnerability is possible exploitation and being taken advantage of by those who use your openness against you. This can lead to emotional or physical abuse and may bring feelings of mistrust and damage one's overall sense of security. The term for this type of exploitation is called “gaslighting.” 

Tim shares a very sensitive story of how this happened to someone. 

Tim has some Bible for exploitation. In the ESV, 2 Peter 2:3 says this, And in their greed, they will exploit you with false words.

This is what happens when we choose to be vulnerable people, and it's met with exploitation. It's met with somebody trying to take advantage. There is a greediness and neediness for that person who will try to exploit your vulnerability. They will do it with false words. They will make up lies and narratives “gaslighting” you. The people that try to exploit you and take advantage of you, they're greedy and they're needy. 

Alert & Aware
We must stay alert to those driven by greed who seek to exploit us. By keeping our senses sharp, we can protect ourselves from their traps and discern their true intentions.

This means you need to have your eyes open, and ears attuned to hear and see both the sounds and actions of those that mean to exploit.

I Got Bible for that!!! 2 Peter 2:3 ESV

Tim opens the English Standard Version of the Bible to show what it says about those who exploit and take advantage of your vulnerability.

2 Peter 2:3 ESV 
And in their greed, they will exploit you with false words. 

How can a person avoid the risk of vulnerability being exploited and leading to emotional or physical abuse. Your Vulnerability is for people who value you.  

Vulnerability
Vulnerability truly reflects who respects your worth. The genuine appreciation or indifference towards your vulnerability provides a clear indication of those who value you and those who don’t.

You will always be able to tell the people who value you and who devalue you by the reaction you get to your vulnerability. It's very easy to see when you're vulnerable by how that person receives it, and how they react to it.

Do not ignore the red flags. If somebody has a lot of questions and criticism about your vulnerability and you allow that to happen and continue to happen, you're setting yourself up for emotional abuse, and it can change into physical abuse.

Devalue

Tim instructs on what to do when your gift of vulnerability is exploited by someone by first recognizing who in your life values you as a person and who does not.

The markers of a safe person are seen in those who accept what you're saying. Are they validating your experience or are they invalidating your experiences? Are they invalidating the narrative and experiences that you have? Are they questioning it? Are they challenging it? These are all ways that lead to both the emotional and the physical abuse. 

You are the steward of how you allow that reaction to govern how you navigate telling them more or less. 

Steward Reactions
You are in control. Your reactions can be managed and modulated. It’s up to you how much you choose to reveal, or keep to yourself.

There are certain people that Tim has been vulnerable with and after he realized how they've reacted, Tim doesn't talk to them about it anymore. Point blank, period. They’re not safe people.

Look out for the small clues to get out of those types of situations,  before it gets to the full-blown emotional and physical abuse.

Protecting Yourself
Notice minor clues that may signal serious abuse in narcissistic environments. These situations are challenging and can take an emotional toll. Don’t ignore these early warnings, they are our shield for self-protection.

Those types of situations usually manifest in narcissistic systems. So whether that is in an individual or a corporate system, it's hard to recover from those, and emotional and physical tolls are far greater. So protect yourself and listen out for the cues.

Mistrust

Tim teaches what you need to do when vulnerability leaves you with feelings of mistrust and insecurity. How to recognize who is safe.

- Tim wants you to journal about a time when you felt exploited by your vulnerability. He promises you it's going to be helpful, even though it might be a little bit painful.

- Make a list of trusting relationships where you can be vulnerable. 
If you get to 10 people, shorten the list. Okay. You should not have 10 people that you can feel vulnerable with. If you do, you've won the human lottery. 

- And then lastly, build a safe place to practice vulnerability with a close friend. 
This is going to help you get used to the cadence and how you tell your story. The more you tell it, the easier it is to say. So, pick that person, practice, safe environment, close friend. You're growing. Keep going.

- Journal about a time when you felt exploited by your vulnerability.
- Make a list of trusting relationships where you can be vulnerable.
- Build a safe place to practice vulnerability with a close friend.

Let's talk about the third risk of practicing vulnerability and the emotional exhaustion that can come with it. When you're constantly being vulnerable and exposing yourself, it can be emotionally draining.

Vulnerability Fatigue
This emotional race can be taxing, flooding you with overwhelming feelings that lead to both emotional and physical exhaustion.

When you’re constantly being vulnerable and exposing yourself, it can be emotionally draining. Your emotions can become overwhelming, creating physical fatigue and emotional burnout.

Tim is an empath and he had to learn how fast his vulnerability tank drained. He was not prepared to navigate when and where and how fast my emotional tank drained from me talking about the more private things that he was starting to make public.

Tim found himself mentally, spiritually and physically fatigued. He would just shut down. Tim couldn't get out of the bed. He was drained and needed time to recharge. Tim needed time alone. Tim needed to learn how to fill himself back up and to know when he was vulnerable, and how much was being taken out of him, and what he needed to recover.

Recovery is different for different people. We all have to manage the tank that we have. There's more than one tank: it's a mixture of spiritual, physical, emotional, relational, and financial. You have to be aware of the level each tank is operating on. 

For Tim, it's about recovery. He must schedule time to reset and recharge. Take note of that you need to know how fast your tank drains. And, more importantly, what it takes, what it takes to fill that tank back up.

Vulnerability Fatigue

Emotional Exhaustion

Tim is an empath. When he started being publicly vulnerable, Tim was not prepared to navigate how fast his emotional tank would be drained from talking about private things from his life. We don't have just one tank, and it's a mixture of spiritual, physical, emotional. You have to steward all those tanks. You need to know how fast your tank drains and what it takes to fill that tank back up.

Tim has a Bible for emotional exhaustion, physical fatigue, burnout. 1 Kings 19:4, talks about Elijah. This is after he had the battle with the 450 prophets on Mt. Carmel. He's victorious in that competition. Then this verse says, He went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. Elijah said “I have had enough, Lord, he said. Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.” How did he get there? Elijah was burned out. 

Do you know you can be so exhausted that you could be running from the opposite direction of the purposes and plans for God's life for you? The tank was on “E.” 

Tim wants you to know that you're not alone. Many can relate when they have had success at work or they just got the promotion and then the bottom drops out. When your tank is empty, you will want to run away. Take the time to step away, but don't run away. Stepping away and running away are two totally different things. Step away, recharge, recover, relax. But don't run. What God has for you is right here. So stay in the fight.

I Got Bible for that!!!  1 Kings 19:4 

Tim opens his Bible and points out how it addresses emotional exhaustion and burnout through the example of the prophet Elijah.

1 Kings 19:4 NLT
Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.”

What can a person do when they become emotionally exhausted? Take a break, you need to have a time where you can rest. 

Sabbath
What happens when a person reaches the tipping point of emotional exhaustion? The solution - take a step back, and give yourself permission to rest. It is during these moments of tranquility that we recharge, reenergize, and regain our resilience.

You need to have a time when you can rest. You might say, “Oh Tim, I can't take a whole day off from work.” Then at least take half a day. When you're emotionally exhausted, you need to disengage. You need to get away. The grind is not that important. When you are emotionally exhausted, you need to step away. If you don't step away, chances are you will run away. When you ignore the rhythm of 1,2,3,4,5,6, rest, you will end up stressed. Tim says that many people have run far away from things that they should have just stepped away from, all because they ignored finding time to disengage, step away, and rest up. Because in that rest, you'll come back your best.

Sabbath Rest

Tim teaches about the importance of taking a sabbath rest. He suggests practical ways to apply rest to your life.

- Tim wants you to describe a time when you felt emotionally overwhelmed. 
You need to be able to, you need to be able to journal that because if you can recognize when that happened, You'll be able to recognize it easier when it's happening.

- So make sure you write that down in a journal, how you process those emotions when they come, and then build an exercise and nutrition routine for a balanced lifestyle. 

- Tim isn’t trying to get in your business in terms of your fitness and your nutrition, but he promises you, when you have a natural rhythm where there's some physical exercise and you're eating well you will feel better. You feel better about yourself from the inside out. 

Do something! If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl. Do something that will make you feel better about you from the inside out. That balance. Will help you be a super powerful, vulnerable person.

- Describe a time when you felt emotionally overwhelmed.
- Journal how you process these emotions.
- Build an exercise and nutrition routine for a balanced lifestyle.

How can vulnerability become your superpower through being in a community with others? 

Super Friends
The power of vulnerability isn’t a solo journey. It truly shines in a community: among family, friends, and mentors.

Your superpower of vulnerability is best discovered in community. Vulnerability is maximized through the support system of family, friends, and mentors.

For Tim, vulnerability became his superpower when he started sharing my story with my friends and my family. Tim told the story about him getting caught watching porn by his mom and how that led to Tim having the biggest breakthrough in his life, which was carrying this dark secret for 11 years of sexual trauma and being able to share it with his mom, dad, and his younger brother. 

Obviously, this brought his family closer and their vulnerability as a family just went through the roof. They were already a very open and communicative family. But once they shared that, it just went to another level. And so for Tim, the reason why he can live freely in this space is because his own family now, his wife, his kids, they practice this vulnerability in their everyday lives.

Tim’s closest friendships and relationships also practice this vulnerability. This is foundational for his career now as a podcaster and the business that he started, Upset the World, is literally based on vulnerability. The fact that Tim can create a safe environment, where his guests can give their gift of their vulnerability.

Tim hopes that as you have walked through these sections these tools have, first of all, inspired you, encouraged you, equipped you, and now hopefully in this section, hopefully, you get released into doing what Tim believes God intended all of us to do. 

Super Friends

Being In Community 

Tim starts this next section on how he found his superpower through the support of his family. Tim refers to the Genesis story where we were first created blissfully ignorant of anything that would make us feel shame and therefore could be completely vulnerable. 

Tim shares from the Bible Genesis 3. Tim shares what it really looks like to be vulnerable in community and for it to be like glue for you. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says a person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better for a triple-braided cord that is not easily broken. 

We were not meant to live alone. The verse in chapter number two of Genesis where God says, “It is not good that man be alone.” Tim explains that it is not just a relational statement in terms of marriage. It is a humanity statement. God is the one who said it's not good that Adam should be alone. Adam didn't even say that. Adam thought he was content in the world he was living in the garden with God. And yet, God said, it's not good. God literally says I'm not enough for you in human form. You need someone like you. You need someone to be in community with. You need someone to stand back to back with and shoulder to shoulder with. Ecclesiastes says “Three is even better.” A three-braided cord is not easily broken. 

Unity in Action
Understand the power of community. Allies amplify your strength to conquer life’s battles. Form your team, experience the strength of unity. 

You can come up against some of the darkest things in life. If you got a squad, so squad up.

I Got Bible for that!!!  Ecclesiastes 4:12

Tim teaches how the Bible supports vulnerability that is best practiced together in a loving community.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

How can a person utilize their family to support their vulnerability? Well, Tim is legitimately doing this real-time right now 'cause right this minute we're in his house. Tim tells you that his family practices what he preaches; “ You are in my home with my family trying to be as quiet as they can so that we can take this.”  Tim thought it would be amazing if we’re going to talk about vulnerability to be in a place where he practices most often, which is his house.

And so, Tim has literally cultivated, and is practicing what he preaches, he literally cultivated a family unit where vulnerability takes center stage.

Tim wants to encourage you with your family to be brave, be bold. You might have to be the first one to establish. We want to be vulnerable. He wants you to practice vulnerability on a daily basis. Start with yourself. 

Imagine initiating; “Let’s be vulnerable”, making it a daily routine. It could transform dynamics significantly.

Before you demand it from others, start with yourself. Lead by example. Tim is vulnerable with his wife. He is vulnerable with his children. And as a result, he gave them permission to do what we like to call “go second.”

Support
Start by practicing vulnerability daily before expecting it from others. Demonstrate it to your spouse and children to create a safe environment for them to do the same. This initiative empowers others to follow suit.

When you're brave enough to go first, you literally give people permission to go second. It is very, very difficult to be the first, but second, third, fourth, fifth gets a little bit easier because there's been someone to lead the way. And he’s done this with his family unit. The Ross family is a vulnerable family. Tim wants this for you. Establish it, starting with you, and watch how contagious it becomes for them.

How do you cultivate that type of vulnerability within a family? By making it normal. They've literally normalized what vulnerability looks like. Tim normalized it for his kids. His wife has normalized it for their kids. They are vulnerable people.

Tim’s hope and prayer is that for you, you can establish in your family and you may need to be the brave one that goes first in your family, but he promises you, if you can establish a family that's vulnerable, your emotional well-being will literally rise and you will be a better person as a result.

Family Support

Tim demonstrates real-time how he and his family have made a commitment to live out a lifestyle of vulnerability in recording this course right in their home. With the support of Tim's family, they have been able to normalize vulnerability. 

How can we utilize friends to support vulnerability?
You’re going to be brave enough to go first and you’re going to invite them into that vulnerability as well.

Brave Friends
Let’s explore ways in which we can embrace vulnerability through the support of friends. Be the courageous one to take the first step, inviting them to share in your openness.

Can you trust a friend with your vulnerability? Invite a friend, “Would you be opposed to being as vulnerable as me? And if you can't, that's fine, but are you against me being this vulnerable with you?” You need someone to be able to share literally the innermost parts of yourself with them. The reactions you get are going to be encouraging. Be brave enough to initiate the conversation and watch that vulnerability grow.

Brave Friends

Tim gives practical suggestions on how your friends can support your decision to live a vulnerable lifestyle.  
He challenges you to take the lead and be brave enough and be the first one to be vulnerable with your friends. The you can invite your friends into your safety of vulnerability

How do you utilize this with mentors? The people that speak into your life. Tim mentors a lot of people, but as a mentee, he wants to give you a life hack. 

Mentors fall in love with mentees who give them information that they feel like they don't have to try to pull out of them.

Mentorship
Mentors are often captivated by mentees who proactively share their thoughts and ideas, eliminating the need for mentors to extract this valuable information themselves.

When mentors have a mentee that comes to them and says, “This is where I am, this is what I'm dealing with. I need your wisdom on this.” Tim tells you that vulnerability is a superpower, even to those that you look up to. Tim never has to guess or be concerned with his mentees who practice vulnerability. These are the people who are self-aware and attuned. They let Tim know where they are and he is able to help them right where they are and not just a version that they're trying to present to impress me. 

Mentorship
Express your vulnerability to mentors confidently. This transparency promotes your growth and development.

The way you utilize vulnerability with your mentors is to be brave enough to let them know exactly where you are without fear of judgment and or reprisal.

Mentorship

Tim offers a life hack that mentors fall in love with mentees who open up to them with information. Vulnerability allows you to be mentored without trying to impress your mentor. 

- Tim wants you to develop a weekly activity for the entire family that feels safe where you can share with each other. 

- Second thing Tim wants you to do is to build your inner circle and to gather for coffee or practice being honest with each other. Find a place to hang out and to practice and then get connected to a trusted person who can mentor you. This may start off with a therapist or a counselor. You might find solace in a direct family member biologically or spiritually, or it might be a coach or a teacher. 

- Find someone that you can trust, that you can look up to, and that has a lot of wisdom to put on the inside of you, and you will be well on your way to developing a superpower that lives in community.

- Develop a weekly activity for the entire family where they can feel safe to share with each other.
- Build your inner circle of friends to gather for coffee and practice being honest with each other.
- Connect with a trusted person to mentor you.

Your superpower of vulnerability can be enhanced through counseling and therapy, whether it's individual or group. 

Amplify your vulnerability superpower with counseling - individual or group therapy works wonders.
Tim’s vulnerability is enhanced through counseling and ongoing therapy. He gave his life to Jesus in 1996 and started counseling in 1998 for 25 years. Tim continues therapy as a regular part of what he does and how he lives his life.

Tim explains that his salvation experience became his “braces.”  Then the Holy Spirit serves Tim as his retainer, and his therapy is his dental checkup. No one goes to the dentist and says. “I went to the dentist when I was 11 and I'm good now.” 

See counseling and ongoing therapy as preventative maintenance for your well-being. 

Super Counselors

Enhancing Personal Vulnerability 

Tim shares how his commitment to counseling and therapy over 25 years has become the key element to creating his superpower of vulnerability.  He shares an illustration of how an eleven-year-old child would go to the dentist once and then choose to never go back for another appointment their entire life. For Tim, counseling and therapy are his preventative maintenance that enhances his superpower.

Tim opens the Bible, your counseling and your therapy. Proverbs 15:22. Plans go wrong for lack of advice. Many advisors brings success. 

Tim wants you to know that if you really want to see success in your life, you need someone to advise you. Like you trust a doctor to do surgery or a mechanic to work on your car. Tim trusts therapists to sort emotions and draws from their advice. Having the right voices will bring you success. See counselors and therapists as advisors. 

View them as emotional advisors. Let them share their expertise, and success will follow.

They're advising you on your emotional well-being. Allow them to give you what they got, and you will experience great success.

I Got Bible for that!!!  Proverbs 15:22

Tim opens up his Bible to show how it talks about the importance of Counseling and therapy

Proverbs 15:22
Plans go wrong for lack of advice;
    many advisers bring success.

He trusts his counselors the same way you might trust your medical doctor. 

Answer this question. How can a person find a counselor or therapist that will help them with their vulnerability? Here's the way Tim likes to answer this question. 

Choosing the right counselor or therapist is like finding a good barber or a good stylist - trial and error is part of the process.

You might walk into the first one and click with this person. I like the way they're talking to me. I like the feedback that they give me. Or you might walk away feeling they just didn't get it. Don't give up. Just go to another one. You might go to one barber and you didn't like the way they did your cut and then you go to another barber and you're like this one gets it.

Do your due diligence and find the one that works best for you.

In Tim’s experience, he doesn't know many people that have had to go to more than three different counselors before they find the one they really settle with. So go on the journey, once you get in sync with the right therapist or counselor, your vulnerability is going to enhance tremendously.

Super Therapist

Tim shares a comparison on how finding a counselor or therapist to help you with your vulnerability is similar to how you shop for a good barber or stylist. You have to try them out, and once you get in sync with the right therapist or counselor, your vulnerability is going to be enhanced tremendously.

- First thing you're gonna do, is develop a plan for your individual therapy, okay? You need to know what you're going in for and just pick a spot. You might say, “You know what, I am a complete mess. I've had so much trauma, so much drama, so much stuff that I've gone through, I don't even know where to start.” Just start somewhere. 

And then, after you develop that plan and figure out where you want to target, sign up. 
- Sign up for group therapy, sign up for some type of care group, do your work, like follow through with it. Don't just write it down like, Oh, you know, that's good enough. I'll get around to it at some point. No! Take that brave step. Walk into that room in the same way you would walk into a doctor's office, right? You walk into a doctor's office. You trust the diploma that's on the wall. You're gonna do the same thing with this counselor and, or this therapist. You're gonna walk in, sit down, and trust they have the credentials, hopefully, you've done some vetting, but you trust they have the credentials to help you help yourself gain this superpower and develop it so that it can grow.

Develop a Plan
- Develop a plan for individual therapy (Know what you need from the therapist)
- Sign up for group Therapy or an informal care group

Tim talks about how: 

Your superpower is best supported through healthy boundaries. 

Tim loves boundaries. Boundaries is a magic word for him. He shares the boundaries he has around social media. He has created a boundary, so that he can be vulnerable and give that gift to these platforms, without exposing himself to all of the reactions people can have.

We talked about what it is to get harsh criticism by somebody that has no point of reference to you or what you're doing. They're just mad at the world and themselves. They want to make other people miserable. Likewise, social media is not where he goes to get a fix or a high. Tim not “liking and friending” on social media for the attention of how many likes did he get? How many times was this reposted? How many times was this shared? He has created this boundary on social media that has become beneficial to his mental health. 

Healthy Boundaries

Vulnerability And Healthy Boundaries 

In this section, Tim instructs how your Superpower of Vulnerability is best supported through Healthy Boundaries and shares how vulnerability helped me develop healthy boundaries in my use of social media.

The Bible addresses corrupt people.  Proverbs 22:5. Corrupt people walk a thorny, treacherous road. Whoever values life will avoid it. So, this is a great scripture to just lean on as it relates to boundaries.

If you value your life, you're gonna set strong boundaries to steer clear of corrupt individuals and avoid the treacherous road ahead. 

Tim’s success comes from his discipline. It doesn't come from just being a good guy. The Bible makes it clear that we're not good, right? That in our flesh dwelleth no good things. Tim thinks about his disciplines as being on a short leash. So that he doesn't wind up even close to anything that could corrupt his character and or his integrity. Tim hopes that's the same thought process that you have, but even if not, it's something to consider.

We are the ones that have to set the boundary and maintain the boundary. And that's something that you have to do. So get the discipline to draw the line, and to stand behind the line you draw.

I Got Bible for that!!!  Proverbs 22:5

Tim turns his Bible again to the book of Proverbs to address the importance of personal boundaries and how he uses them as his spiritual short leash from corruption.

He reads Proverbs 22:5 NLT
Corrupt people walk a thorny, treacherous road; whoever values life will avoid it.

What can a person do to have healthy boundaries in their workplace? The answer is to draw more lines, especially in a workplace environment, right? 

In order to have healthy boundaries in the workplace, you need to draw more lines.

Tim used to work in a call center taking 100 to 200 calls in a queue all day long for eight hours. He loved that job. It taught Tim so much about organization. It taught him so much about patience, dealing with people's phone calls, but also the co-workers that you work with. There needs to be boundaries to those working relationships. You may have a co-worker that you're close to and you may be able to talk to them about personal stuff, but you don't want to make a habit of everybody that you work with knowing about your personal life because things can just get very “gray,” and very sloppy, very easily.

Establish who the people are that you need to have strictly business relationships with and whom you can open up to about personal things.

In the workplace you have to have those boundaries lines that define who you trust to talk to about personal things. Who do you have to keep things strictly professional with because maybe this person doesn't know how to? Those lines are going to define how you navigate the space that you're working in. So draw the lines. Don't be afraid of having what Tim would like to call courageous conversations with people who cross those lines. You are professional. You are at work. Maintain the professional disposition and demeanor that allows you to have true success.

 Healthy Workplace Boundaries

Tim now applies how to set healthy boundaries in your workplace.

- Tim wants you to define healthy boundaries with your relationships. You define them. You work out what those need to look like for you. 
- Write down the needed boundaries at work. It's really, really good not to just keep it in your head. Jot it down.

- And then set up your social media parameters.
Tim has one friend who followed some accounts on social media. They were in the same sector as he was, and there was  a lot of frustration due to comparison. He wasn't able to focus on his assignment because he was too busy comparing himself to his counterparts and his contemporaries, and Tim’s  advice to him was to delete all their accounts.

Instead of comparing yourself to others and getting distracted, focus on your assignments and take practical steps towards improvement.

So sometimes drawing a line looks like unfollowing accounts that cause you frustration. Unfollowing accounts that cause you to start comparing yourself or feeling bad about yourself. It's not even worth the frustration. Just unfollow the account. You don't need the frustration in your life. Let that be a boundary.

Social media does not have to be a toxic place if you draw the line. So do it today and you'll be fine.

Superpower Workout
- Define healthy boundaries with your relationships.
- Write down the needed boundaries at work.
- Set up your social media parameters.

Tim also shares additional thoughts on his own social media use.


Your superpower of vulnerability will bring you a deeper understanding of the receptiveness of individuals. 

What do you do when your vulnerability is too much for others to handle and is received as an offense by others? Tim recalls times when his vulnerability negatively set some people off. Tim’s vulnerability is hard to receive when he is being very straightforward about the experience he had with his own trauma and or episodes in his life with certain people now. 
Tim was born and raised in the church, so many of his stories come from the church. When he shares those stories from the church, a lot of people are offended by the details that he shared in a particular story based on his experience. Here's another thing based on the language he chooses to use. He has had to just come to terms with and understand that there are some people who can handle that level of Tim’s vulnerability, and some people cannot. Some people are offended by that level of vulnerability and say he could have said this differently. And they're entitled to their opinion. Tim is also entitled to his. And so, at the place where you come to an impasse, Agree to disagree. It doesn't have to be the end of the relationship. It doesn't have to be the dissolution of a relationship. It does mean that two humans are experiencing the same thing in a different way. And, it doesn't mean that one person is right or wrong. It means that you respect where they are, and they respect where you are.

Receptiveness of Vulnerability

The Receptiveness of Others

Tim addresses how your vulnerability can be too much for some to receive because of their experiences. And your vulnerability can actually be received as offensive. Two different people can experience your vulnerability in different ways. And, it doesn't mean that one person is right or wrong. It just means that you respect where they are, and they respect where you are.

You may or may not agree with the angle Tim is going to come at this with. Isaiah 55:11 says this, it is the same with my word. I send it out and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I wanted to, and it will prosper wherever I send it. 

Tim offers a disclaimer: he is not saying that everything that comes out of his mouth is going to produce fruit, nor is he saying that every word that comes out of his mouth is going to prosper wherever he sends it. Tim will say this when he knows the audience I'm talking to. He knows that the words that he speaks to that audience will produce fruit when he knows the audience that he’s talking to. 

If you know and understand the audience you are talking to, what you say will bear fruit.

The words that Tim speaks will accomplish and prosper where those words are sent. Here's the reason why Tim gave the disclaimer. What Tim does for a living has a wide radius as it relates to reach. He realizes and has come to terms with that he has an audience that he is speaking to, hundreds of thousands of people, if not millions, are listening to the conversation Tim is having with his audience and completely having a different reaction to the reaction of the audience. If it's not producing fruit for them, it does not accomplish what he wanted it to accomplish, nor is it prospering with them. They don't like it at all. He has learned how to resolve and reconcile. Who are you talking to?

If you're talking to your intended audience and it's not producing fruit and not prospering, change your verbiage. But if you're talking to your audience and it's producing fruit and prospering, those people are being blessed. And for me, their lives are being turned upside down with the message, love, and hope of Jesus Christ. 

Jesus knew this in his earthly ministry. The only people who had a problem with his conversations, with his sermons were the Pharisees. Why? His assignment was to a different audience. His audience was the lost sheep of Israel. Not the Pharisees who loved God but also thought they were already found. They had a problem with his message, and Jesus didn't change it because an unintended audience had an issue with it.

The only time you need to change your message is if the target audience you're communicating to can't understand what you're trying to say. 

Change your message only if your target audience can’t grasp what you’re saying.

Never stop talking to your audience. To try to make people that you're not even assigned to understand what you're talking about. Focus on your person or persons, and what you say will produce fruit. That's a goldmine. That's worth the whole stinking course right there.

I Got Bible for that!!!  Isaiah 55:11

Tim opens his Bible to the prophet Isaiah about how people can receive and benefit from your vulnerability that starts with knowing your audience. 

Isaiah 55:11 NLT
It is the same with my word.
    I send it out, and it always produces fruit.
It will accomplish all I want it to,
    and it will prosper everywhere I send it.

What can a person do when their vulnerability is too much for others to handle? Or... It's received as offensive, right? It's like somebody's just like dying, like, “I can't believe you said that.” Your vulnerability is a gift. But one person's gift is not another person's treasure. Like Christmas time rolls around. And what would be a gift for Tim could be, like, trash to somebody else. They're like, why did you buy me this, right? 

So you gotta know where this feedback is coming from. Is it coming from your intended audience? Is it coming from a loved one that you care about? Or is this adverse negative reaction to your vulnerability coming from a complete stranger who has no context to you?

Let's say it's coming from somebody you actually know. 
- You might have to express your thoughts using different words. 

Well, in that case, you may need to say what you've already said in a different way. If they don't understand it, explain it in a different way. Whether that's with your spouse, with your kids, or somebody at work, your family, or friends, right? Now let's say it's coming, this feedback is coming from somebody, they're offended, they don't even know you, they don't even know, they really don't even know why they're offended.

They just heard what you said and just decided it bothered them

- Sometimes you just need to let it go.

No matter what they've said, if there's no connection to them relationally, you have to let it go. Tim can't tell you how many times he has wanted to retaliate on social media based on somebody's feedback. He would be giving power to a stranger to have square footage in his mind that they didn't pay for. And that's just not the way Tim is going to live his life. Tim is being honest and vulnerable: Sometimes Tim would still type out the comment because he just felt good getting it out. And then he would  delete it because there's no way he is bringing attention to this person that he doesn't even know if he can't have a face-to-face conversation with somebody or at the bare minimum, a phone call.

It ain't worth it at all. So, Resist the urge to clap back.

When Vulnerability is Too Much

Tim explains how to respond to others who can not handle your vulnerability. He says that we must first know where this feedback is coming from. Some people experience your vulnerability as a gift and others as trash. Is this feedback coming from your intended audience? If so, you can receive it, and if not, let it go.

Alright people, so we're at the end of all the homework. Now, don't cheat, don't, don't play hopscotch with all this. If you've done this in order, through all these sections, through this entire course, and you're getting to the end, kudos to you.

You are a champion of the highest order, okay? So here's what Tim wants you to do. 

- Tim wants you to write down what happened to you when you were offended and how it made you feel. Tim thinks it's very important to journal and to be able to take an account of what you were feeling on that day and how.

- Practice how you will forgive the person who offended you. This is absolutely important. Forgiveness is way more about you than it is about them. You're releasing them and freeing yourself. 

- Pray about your role in the offense. You could have genuinely offended them.

So before you write it off and just say, Oh, you're just sensitive. You're offended, blah, blah, blah, blah. You could have genuinely offended them and pray and see if the Holy Spirit may not point to you instead of you pointing at them.

Superpower Workout
- Write down what happened to you when you were offended and how it made you feel.
- Practice how you will forgive the person who offended you.
- Pray about your role in the offense.

Thanks for joining Tim in this course on Vulnerability.

We have learned in this course that
Personal vulnerability can have BOTH positive and negative aspects, impacting individuals in various ways. 

We explored how vulnerability brings positive outcomes such as connection and growth, and how it is essential to approach vulnerability with care and discernment.

Next we shared how vulnerability also considers the potential risks in each situation. 

And finally, we explained the impact of vulnerability can be influenced by factors such as support systems, personal boundaries, and the receptiveness of the individuals.

Tim encourages you to review this course.
Download the free workbook that comes with this course and complete the assignments.

Gather others and have a watch party!
Love ya!
Byeeeeeee!

=============

Hey fam, thank y'all so much for joining me in this course on vulnerability. 

We have learned in this course that personal vulnerability can have both positive and negative aspects impacting individuals in various ways. We explored how vulnerability brings positive outcomes such as connection and growth and how it is essential to approach vulnerability with care and discernment.

Next, we shared how vulnerability also considers the potential risk in each situation. 

And finally, we explained the impact of vulnerability and how it can be influenced by factors such as support systems, personal boundaries, and the receptiveness of the individuals. 

I love you guys so much. And until next time, bye.

Final Words

Wrapping Up 

Tim offers his review and final words for his course.

Vulnerability: My Superpower

To,_Vulnerability_Finla_Cover.jpg

<p>Tim outlines the positive and negative aspects of personal vulnerability. And how vulnerability can be anyone’s superpower when it is practiced in a safe community.</p>


Tim-Ross.jpg

Tim Ross

International Speaker | Podcast Host

How authenticity fosters self-awareness & creates self-care.

How emotional connection creates emotionally healthy people & relationships.

How vulnerability will help your personal growth and learning by developing resilience & adaptability in your life.

You will learn about the emotional risk of vulnerability: Specifically the pain of personal rejection, criticism, and betrayal.

Possible exploitation that happens in vulnerability and what to do when you are taken advantage of and/or exploited.

How emotional exhaustion is a risk of vulnerability and what happens when you feel overwhelmed and become physically fatigued and emotionally burned out.

Finally, we will explore how vulnerability can become your superpower when practiced in the community: Through developing support systems, participating in therapy, and practicing healthy boundaries.

Your guide, Tim Ross